What should I do?

When you think that someone may be suicidal, it's important to help in a way that's safe and effective.

We believe in the 'Ask, Listen and Help' model. This involves

• asking direct questions
• listening without judgment
• helping the person find professional help

If you follow these steps, you may be able to help a person find other solutions to their problems.

The three steps:

Ask
Ask direct questions, like: 'Are you considering suicide?' or 'Are you feeling suicidal?'

The more specific and deadly the person's plan, the greater the immediate risk. Take the answers seriously and don't ignore the signals. (If you feel that a person is in immediate danger of attempting suicide, try to stay with them until they get help. If possible, do not leave them alone.)

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Listen
Be a supportive listener. Accept the person's feelings rather than denying or judging them.

Tell them it's okay to feel the way they do. Try to understand things from their perspective, even if you would feel differently. Don't joke around or act shocked. At this stage, it's not important that we understand why someone is feeling the way that they do, just that we create a safe environment for them to tell their story.

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Help
Offer help. Let the person know you care and want to help. Be there for them, but remember, it isn't your job to fix their life or solve their problems.

• Help them to get professional help. Suggest people they can talk to. They could talk to a relative, close friend or trusted teacher. These people may help to find a counsellor or other professional trained in helping suicidal individuals.
• If they won't get help for themselves, get it for them. Tell someone you can trust.
• Never promise to keep a suicide plan secret. Be firm and be focused.
• Never dare a person or say you don't believe them.
• Never leave a high-risk person alone without making sure that they have help.
• Find support for yourself. Call a Crisis Centre or talk to someone on our Wanna Talk section of this site. We can provide appropriate information and support to those who are concerned about their friends and loved ones.

We are often in the best position to recognize and initiate the first response to someone's Signals of Suicide

However, we are not responsible for the decisions that someone else makes. Suicide is ultimately a personal choice Ë it is not our job to 'save' someone else's life, only to offer them other options.

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20% of suicides occur without any warning and others take place despite the very caring responses of friends, family and counsellors.

More facts about suicide